Author: Phyllis Reagin is an Executive and Leadership Coach, Leadership Psychology Expert, and founder of At the Coach’s Table. She supports leaders in the entertainment and media industry to lead with clarity, confidence, and purpose.
Giving constructive feedback isn’t easy. For many leaders, it feels like conflict. And if you’re conflict-avoidant, your instinct might be to soften, delay, or avoid it altogether.
That was the case with my client Paige, a Television Director for a local news program. Paige leads a small, talented team who look to her for guidance on growing their careers. She knew that honest feedback was necessary to help them improve, but every time she thought about giving it, she felt anxious. To her, feedback felt like confrontation.
In our coaching work, Paige realized something powerful: constructive feedback isn’t conflict. It’s actually one of the most valuable gifts a leader can give. It’s how people grow, how teams perform at their best, and how expectations become clear and aligned.
Here are three ways we worked on shifting her approach:
1. Reframe feedback from “conflict” to “development”
The first shift Paige made was in her mindset. Instead of viewing feedback as pointing out what someone is doing wrong, she began to see it as creating an opportunity for growth.
When she caught herself thinking, “This is going to upset them,” she practiced reframing to:
- “This is my chance to support their growth.”
- “I’m not criticizing. I’m coaching.”
By seeing feedback as an act of leadership rather than conflict, Paige felt less anxious and more grounded in her role as a mentor.
2. Anchor feedback to expectations
One of Paige’s breakthroughs was realizing that feedback isn’t just about improving performance, it’s also about reaffirming expectations.
When she gave feedback, she began to link it directly to the outcomes she expected. For example:
“This report needs more detail because accuracy is key to how we deliver news with credibility.”
This approach took the emotion out of the moment and made the conversation about shared standards, not personal criticism.
3. Make it a regular rhythm
Feedback feels bigger and scarier when it only happens once in a while. So Paige started creating a rhythm of short, regular check-ins with her team.
Instead of waiting for problems to build, she integrated constructive conversations into everyday leadership. These moments became less about “difficult conversations” and more about natural coaching touchpoints.
Over time, her team started to expect — and even welcome — feedback. The anxiety faded, and her confidence to lead grew.
If you’ve been avoiding constructive feedback because it feels like conflict, remember Paige’s shift: feedback is not confrontation, it’s leadership. It’s the clearest way to help others grow, to raise performance standards, and to align expectations.
If you want to strengthen your leadership confidence and build the skills to lead with clarity, I invite you to join my 12-session Excel Leadership Coaching program. We will work together on strategies like this — and more — that will elevate your leadership impact.
Start by booking your free 30-minute consultation here!
Meet Phyllis Reagin — A former entertainment exec turned high-impact coach. Phyllis is on a mission to help trailblazing leaders in Hollywood and beyond ditch self-doubt or Imposter Syndrome, use their strengths to make the biggest impact, and to start living from their own genius. She’s coached thousands of leaders and teams (from Netflix, Warner Bros. Discovery, Amazon MGM Studios, Google, Meta, Spotify, Atlantic Records, Paramount Global, and more) to lead with greater confidence, influence, and impact. If it boosts leadership impact and builds confident leaders, she’s on it! Read more about her here.
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Learn more about Phyllis Reagin here: https://www.phyllisreagin.com