Author: Phyllis Reagin is an Executive and Leadership Coach, Leadership Psychology Expert, and founder of At the Coach’s Table. She supports leaders in the entertainment and media industry to lead with clarity, confidence, and purpose.
Let’s talk about something I see far too often with the leaders I coach:
They start second-guessing their own voice.
That was Nicole.
Nicole is the CEO of a small but thriving production company. On the outside, she was doing everything right…hitting goals, growing her team, and attracting more high-profile projects.
But inside? Her decision-making had slowed to a crawl.
Each new success seemed to bring more hesitation, not less. Why? Because the stakes felt higher, leading her to no longer fully trusted her own instincts.
In coaching, she admitted what so many leaders silently carry:
“I know I’m capable. But lately, I keep doubting myself — what I think, what I feel, what I decide.”
This is the quiet erosion of self-trust.
And if you’re a leader, you know what that costs: Delayed decisions, filtered communication, or dimming your presence in rooms where you should be shining
So, how do you get it back?
1. Know your strengths and believe them
Nicole knew she was strategic and deeply creative. But she wasn’t owning those strengths.
When we revisited her strengths, she lit up. She saw how she had made bold, values-driven decisions in the past and how those very strengths had built the business she now leads.
Self-trust doesn’t start with hype. It starts with clarity. The more familiar you are with your core strengths, the easier it is to believe your own insight.
Do this: Name your top 3 strengths out loud. Then ask yourself, “Where have these already helped me lead well?”
2. Stop outsourcing your decisions
Nicole had been turning to advisors, mentors, and her team more than ever. Not for collaboration but for reassurance.
This is a trap I see often: brilliant leaders defaulting to, “What do they think I should do?” instead of first asking, “What do I think?”
Good advice has its place. But your voice has to come first.
Do this: The next time you’re facing a decision, pause and check in with yourself before you ask anyone else. Write down your thoughts as if your opinion is the one that matters most — because it does.
3. Separate your inner critic from your inner compas
s
When Nicole slowed down, she realized that her loudest voice wasn’t intuition. It was fear.
Real inner guidance is calm, quiet and wise.
Your inner critic? It’s reactive. It yells. It catastrophizes.
Learning to tell the difference is where true self-trust begins. And Nicole started making decisions that felt grounded and clear, without needing a 12-person consensus.
Do this: When that voice pipes up, ask: “Is this fear or inner guidance?” Trust the one that feels steady, not shaky.
Self-trust isn’t something you either have or don’t. It’s something you build, with every decision that honors your own voice, perspective, and experience. And when you do? You lead with more clarity, presence, and power.
Meet Phyllis Reagin — A former entertainment exec turned high-impact coach. Phyllis is on a mission to help trailblazing leaders in Hollywood and beyond ditch self-doubt or Imposter Syndrome, use their strengths to make the biggest impact, and to start living from their own genius. She’s coached thousands of leaders and teams (from Netflix, Warner Bros. Discovery, Amazon MGM Studios, Google, Meta, Spotify, Atlantic Records, Paramount Global, and more) to lead with greater confidence, influence, and impact. If it boosts leadership impact and builds confident leaders, she’s on it! Read more about her here.